Blue Suit Mom

The Things Nobody Tells You About Being a Mother…of 3

As of December 2012, I am a mother of 3 children who are beautiful, funny, frustrating and exhausting.  I often wonder how I can find them so amusing in one moment and so defiant in the next?!? Yet, they are mine and I love them dearly.  I guess because I didn’t have a true reference point, I could not truly comprehend how much work 3 children can be when other mothers told me about how much work it is to care for 3 children. It’s not like 2 was easy!!

I am sharing my perspective here about what my life feels like now that I have 3 monkeys to love and entertain. Despite the fact that I am a Psychologist, I am a mother first and the emotional side of me takes over what I know to be true and good.

When you go on a vacation, it’s not really a vacation.  It’s more like a distraction…

For 4th of July week, my family and I have been vacationing in Ocean City, New Jersey. For the entire week before we leave, I keep three suitcases open and fill them up with all the little things that I think we’ll need.  My 7 month old’s suitcase was the largest despite the fact that he’s the smallest one of us all! Between the feedings, naps and changes, it didn’t feel like much of a vacation for me or my husband. It felt like we packed up all of our belongings ( I don’t think there was much left at home) and lived elsewhere for a week. It was more like a distraction from our home. It was a great vacation… for our children!

You are now officially outnumbered… and your children know this…

Once upon a time, you had two hands to accommodate two children. Now, I have 2 hands and one child that needs to be carried in one arm leaving me with one hand and two legs.  My 7 year old and 4 year old are now mischief partners. They whisper to each other and create a plan on how they are going to do the very thing I’ve said they shouldn’t do while I’m changing my 7 month olds diaper or feeding him. And what am I to do? Well, hope that they are cooperative and using really good team work, of course!

The circus now has more acts…

Yes, life feels like a continuous circus act with popcorn, cotton candy, music, and lights. Sounds very exciting and over-stimulating as well. I’ve threatened to change my name to Giggles or Bubbles in place of mommy, but I wasn’t going to tell my children! A little mystery is good for developing higher level thinking, you know! Just when I think that I have a handle on where everyone is and what they are doing, they change things up. They go outside, downstairs, or upstairs.  Two eyes for three children – I think I need another eye on the backside of my body to give me an advantage and edge to keep up with them!

Motherhood has taught me more about how much I can truly accomplish, how efficient I can be, how focused I have to be in one day. If someone had told me 10 years ago that I would be catching vomit in one hand while trying to break up a fight, I would have laughed… out loud! But, I think if I can keep my sanity and raise three well adjusted children, I deserve a glass of wine! Cheers to me and all the mothers of three or more children!

About the Author:
Dr. Liz Matheis is a clinical psychologist and school psychologist in Parsippany, NJ who provides assessment, psychotherapy, consulting, and advocacy for children and families managing autism spectrum disorders, ADHD and learning disabilities ( She is also a contributor to several popular press magazines.

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